|West Marden Mummers Play|
This is the play performed by the "Glews of Marden" in Hurstpierpoint.
The following notes were made on the costume :
" Hats were not worn. All wore trousers of unbleached calico with shredded stuff down the seams 'like cowboy chaps'. The jackets, they all wore, were also of calico, buttoned and haphazardly covered with patches and tufts of coloured material. Mervyn Plunkett was advised by the Glews from whom he collected the play that all jackets were finished with a fringe. "
SUSSEX TIPTEERER'S PLAY
|Prince of Fairland||4|
|ENTER FATHER CHRISTMAS|
In comes I, Old Father Christmas,|
Welcome, welcome not,
I 'ope old Father Christmas will never be forgot.
'Ere but a short time to stay,
I'll show you sport and pastime before I go away.
Room, room ladies & gentlemen, room room I pray.
I am the man, that leads the Noble (or Naval) Captain,
All 'is merry men this way.
Step in here young men I pray.
We come we come we merry merry come,|
Go sound your trumpets and beat your drum,
From shore to shore let loud your cannons roar,
Step in King George all on British shores.
|ENTER KING GEORGE|
In comes I, King George from England I did spring,|
Now some of my wondrous works I'm going to begin.
First in a dungeon I was shut up and left on a rock and stone,
That's where I made my sad place to moan,
By these means I won the First King of Egypt's daughters.
|ENTER VALIANT SOLDIER|
In comes I the Valiant Soldier just lately come from France,|
Sword and buckle by my side I'll make King George dance.
I've been through England, Ireland, Scotland, Spain,
Many a French dog in my time have I slain,
So neither unto you will I bow or bend,
Nor I never took you to be my friend.
For why, Sir, for why, Sir,|
D' I ever do you any 'arm?
Yes you 'ave, you sassy cock, get you gone,|
Get you gone you sassy cock, undrawn or slain,
Why you ought to be stabbed, you sassy man.
Stab for stab, it is my fear,|
'ppoint the place, 'n' I'll meet you theer (sic).
My place is 'ppointed on this ground,|
That's where I mean to lay your body down.
Across the water I'll arrive,|
And meet you there if I'm alive.
|EXIT VALIANT SOLDIER|
Since 'e's gone with 'is strict charge,|
Step in 'ere the Turkey Snipe.
|ENTER TURKEY SNIPE|
In comes I, the Turkey Snipe,|
Just come from my Turkish Land to fight;
To fight that man o' courage bold,
If 'is blood runs 'ot, I'll turn it cold.
Oh Turk, oh Turk, oh do not vapour,|
Or I'll cut you down with my rusty rap'er.
|( THEY FIGHT AND TURKEY SNIPE IS BESTED )|
Go 'ome, go 'ome, you Turkey Snipe,|
Go to your Turkey land and fight;
Go to your Turkey land and tell,
What champions we 'ave 'ere in old England dwell.
Off goes I with my strict charge,|
God bless the Noble Captain, likewise his noble guard,
God bless them all, beneath we go,
Because our blood it doth run so.
|EXIT TURKEY SNIPE|
Since 'e's gone with 'is strict charge,|
Step in 'ere the Prince of Fairland.
|ENTER PRINCE OF FAIRLAND|
|Prince of Fairland:||
In comes I, the Prince of Fairland,|
To beg these foes to fearless stand,
Stand our King, stand,
Ruler o'er the seas and all our British lands.
|( THEY FIGHT AND PRINCE OF FAIRLAND FALLS )|
Be'old, be'old, what 'ave I done?|
I've cut 'im down like the setting sun;
But is there a doctor to be found,
To rise this young man from the ground?
Yes there is a doctor to be found,|
To rise this young man from the ground.
Step in 'ere doctor.
In comes I, old Doctor Good,|
With my 'and I stop the blood,
Stop the blood and 'eal the wound,
And raise this young man from the room? (ground)
Oh you clever little doctor, you, what can you do?|
I can cure the eesy, peesy, and the gout,|
A strain within and a strain without.
If a man falls down and breaks 'is neck I can sett 'un again,
Or else I won't 'ave a penny farthing of my fee.
What is your fee, Doctor?|
Ten pound is a lot of money Doctor.|
I know it is a lot of money,|
But you'd better pay that,
Than 'ave this man laying about your 'ouse all over.
|Father Christmas:||Well, what is your easiest charge?|
Nine pounds nineteen shillings and eleven pence three farthings,|
And that's a farthing under price you being a poor man.
|Father Christmas:||Well, you'd better carry on Doctor.|
I've got a box of pills in my pocket called loz'berry drops,|
And a bottle of medicine called ....
I place one pill in his mouth and one drop on 'is temple,
Strike a light in 'is 'ole body,
See! 'e moves one leg already!
|( PRINCE OF FAIRLAND IS REVIVED )|
So 'e do, Doctor, clever little Doctor you are.|
Clever, I sh'd think I am clever,|
I can tell you more lies in an 'alf 'our,
Than you can find true in seven years.
|Father Christmas:||I'll believe you that, Doctor.|
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