Lavant Mummers Play
Lavant Mummers Play

This is the text for the Mummers Play performed in the village of Lavant and collected by Rev J. Frazer. There is some confusion in the text between St. George, The Lieutenant and the Valiant Soldier which is difficult to interpret. Though the play is quite large, it appears it is not complete as the Valiant Soldiers lines after he kills the Turk suggests.



Father Christmas8
The Lieutenant11
St. George30
Turkish Knight6
Prince Ferdinand4
Valiant Soldier8

Father Christmas: In comes I, old Father Christmas,
Welcome or welcome not,
Sometimes cold and sometimes hot,
I know that old Father Christmas will never be forgot.
Room ladies and gentlemen, room I say,
We'll show you pleasure and pastime before we go away.
The Lieutenant: In comes I the Lieutenant of this gang,
Never in my life did I fear a bang;
I've fought many men both by sea and land,
And now, my Boys, I'll fight you sword in hand.
My father was a warrior bold and true,
The truth and nothing but the truth, I'll tell to you,
Room ladies and gentleman, room I pray,
For I'm the man that leads St. George & all his men this way.
For I have but a short time here to stay.
St. George: In comes I St. George, a man of courage bold,
With my broad sword and spear I won ten tons of gold.
I fought the fiery Dragon and brought him to great slaughter,
And by that means I hope to win the King of Egypts daughter.
Turkish Knight: In comes I the Turkish Knight,
Just come from Turkish land to fight,
I'll fight that man of courage bold,
Who says he won ten tons of gold.
St. George: You Turkish dog, do you know,
Who you have insulted so?
I'd have you not advance an inch,
For an English man will never flinch,
There's a Valiant Soldier stands hard by,
Who'll make you from this place fly,
Advance the power for now's the hour,
You gallants must obey!
Let fly at stern,
And cheer the main Britons strike on. Huzzay!
( In the fight the sword of the Valiant soldier is knocked out of his hand, and he falls on one knee )
Valiant Soldier: Hold, hold you Turkish Knight,
I will shake hands, no longer fight.
Lieutenant or St. George: Shake hands you Turkish Knight,
You'll gain a valiant name tonight.
Turkish Knight: Oh no St. George t'was he began,
And you shall see how it will end.
St. George or Valiant Soldier: If you are a man upright,
Give me that sword and for my life I'll fight.
Prince Ferdinand: Give him his sword and let him fight,
I'll command him when to strike,
Let fly at the stern and cheer the main,
Britons strike home. Huzzay!
( They fight and the Turk is killed )
Valiant Soldier: St. George you see what here is done,
You know (that) it was not I to blame,
This Turkish Knight which I have slain,
He said he neither bow or bend.
St. George: Oh fie! oh fie! the man is slain,
And on the ground his body's lain.
Is there a Doctor to be found,
To raise this dead man from the ground?
( Then they all rub their hands together and march out )
Doctor: Oh yes there is a Doctor well and good,
And with his hands he'll stop the blood,
He'll stop the blood and heal the wound,
And raise the dead man from the ground.
St. George: Well Doctor what can you cure?
Doctor: I can cure the itch, the peeze, the palsy,
And the gout, pains within & pains without.
If a mans neck is broke, I'll set it again,
Otherwise I'll not charge a farthing for my pain.
St. George: Well Doctor what's your fee?
Doctor: Fifty pounds is my fee,
But half the money I demand of thee.
St. George: If this be true what you do say,
Well rewarded shall you be,
My gold shall fly like chaff before the wind,
But what I'll have him given to life again,
Now Doctor try your skill.
Doctor: Now Ladies & Gentlemen,
You see I'm not just one of those quack doctors,
Running about from house to house telling all manner of lies,
As many in five minutes as you won't find in seven years.
I've a small bottle of drops in my pocket,
Called the golden philosopher (elixir) drops.
I'll drop a drop on each of his temples,
And another on his nose,
Which immediately will strike life to his whole body.
See Ladies & Gentlemen, he moves one leg already.
Arise young man and walk,
And see how gently you can talk.
Now Ladies & Gentlemen, see how it is to be slain,
When there's a Doctor to fetch you to life again.
Valiant Soldier (Takes Turks Hand): Now our battles are all over,
We'll shake hands and fight no more.
Doctor: Now that man's restored to life again,
That purse I'm sure is mine.
St. George: This purse must I give you?
Doctor: Yes Sir and the money too.
St. George: Since you so well have done your part,
See take this purse with all my heart.
Father Christmas: Now Ladies & Gentlemen we'll let our voice ring,
For on this tide was born our Heavenly King.

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